Grieving as a Family

As many of my readers may know we lost a dear and loving family member right before Christmas and her name is Aunt Sue. The loss of Aunt Sue has been one that was not only sorrowful but extremely shocking to all of us. Aunt Sue was what appeared to be a healthy woman with a normal life and going through life as all of do so the loss of her was shocking not only for the adults but for my own children.
Lanie was very sad when we told her about Aunt Sue she was sad, and tearful but seemed to continue on with things as they would for any 8 year old. The only problem is she really wasn't going on as a normal 8 year old as I soon found out. While in Cincinnati she got the stomach virus that was going around she often cried and was extremely upset. Doug and I couldn't figure out why it was lasting so long and why she wasn't healing. We took her to the emergency room where they did many tests they decided it was indigestion. Lanie continued to have stomach problems and often crying in pain when it was time to go to bed. We really could not figure it out and often became frustrated with her, which I now regret!
I was laying in bed last night I feel that the Lord spoke to me and maybe a little help from Aunt Sue it occurred to me what was happening with Lanie. She was having anxiety attacks, just like I have experienced in my life. I know you say an 8 year old having an anxiety attack? Well when you lose someone so close to you and so real to you it can be scary. When Lanie woke up this morning I went in and spoke with her about how she was feeling and what was on her mind and in fact what I thought was true. She not only expressed to me that she was afraid she would die but that people around her including me would not live forever. The thought of the idea that no one lives forever was terribly painful for her. I remember as a young child feeling that same way realizing that not everyone can be here forever. So we talked for a while about how there isn't enough room for everyone to stay here on earth and how heaven is such a wonderful place to be someday with God. It is very hard to comprehend at 8 or at 37 how we can't just keep everyone we love here on earth with us so there is no sorrow or loss. After talking for a while we decided to implement family fun night and we are going to continue to talk more about her feelings and anxieties.
Today was a life lesson for me. The lesson here is that although "things" may look fine they are not always "fine." I realized that 8 year olds can act brave when deep down inside they are just as sad as her grieving parents and family.
The loss of Aunt Sue has grieved our WHOLE family, but there are positive things that have come out of it, a wake up call for check ups, a need to talk more about daily life with the ones that we love, to cherish each day and most importantly.... to hug each other everyday.
We love you and miss you Aunt Sue.