Why don't 8 year olds come with manuals?

So normally I come to this blog to brag or show off some major event at the Burwell manor, but todays installment is a stress revealer and hopefully be a blog that others can say I have been there or someday I will be there.
Anyway Lanie and I had a huge disagreement today which resulted in a major punishment for Lanie. The fight is not what this blog is about but more the after effects that stem from a argument with your child whom you love more than anything in this world.The shockwaves that kit your household.
The punishment occurred after many warnings and much debate. I do have to give Lanie kudoos in that I see her having a really good chance at becoming a lawyer in her future. The punishment was handed down and soon followed was Lanie's request for a family meeting was given. So lucky for Doug he was pulled into the debate as well. Poor Doug was then sentenced to the worst fate any man could see himself in-- in the middle of TWO women arguing. Lanie stated her side with examples and explaination as I tried to listen and give her the floor. After much debate and my side was stated the gavel fell down as the judgement was made that the punishment would stand. It was like a scene from Judge Judy except much more dramatic!
As I listen to Lanie cry it breaks my heart and flashes of my own childhood race through my mind. I realize that the feelings she has are sad and angry with a glimpse of regret. I now know that my parents were doing these things out of love for me which I now find myself in that same position,the one that has to teach the lesson. I have heard the saying that "this is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you." I now see how true this statement is and how deeply it does hurt. I don't like to see my children in pain, but I do want them to grow and be good people who make good choices and do their best to do the right thing. Most of all I want them to know that I love them! This means making hard decisions and showing all the love that I have in my heart to them.
So now I ask you wouldn't be easier if 8 years had manuals? When problems come about you thumb to the index look up the problem and key in the answer. I know what you thinking then they would be like a robot and have no emotion, no sense of drive just a simple solution. Sometimes as a parent I look for for the simple solution when there is growth on both of our parts. I am glad that Lanie is not a robot but an emotional kid much like myself at that age. I know that I am not Dr. Frankenstein, I did not invent some robot that goes and takes over the world. I am much more I am a mother who was lucky enough to create a beautiful girl who grows more beautiful each day on the inside and the outside.
So why don't 8 year olds have manuals? The answer is because there are many solutions and many ways to love your child many more that could ever fill a manual because the flow of a mothers love could never be contained in a book.
Well, it's time for me to go now.... I have to go hug "my girl."

Hidden Treasure

This week I have been reminded of the hidden treasures that surround my life and the lives of my children. When we grow up we look at our parents as just being our parents but when we marry and have children of our own some change seems to come over them. We are left thinking is that my mom offering cookies and cake BEFORE dinner or is that my dad dancing to Barney? Is that the same person acting silly and goofy? I know their hair is a little grayer but I think it is them. Of course it is them they are a hidden treasure amoung us they are GRANDPARENTS!
My children are lucky to have all of their grandparents still living and healthy enough to be a BIG part of their lives. I see this in their everyday lives and these wonderful people go into shaping who they are. For that they are truly blessed.
Lanie had a project in school for Family Heritage day today. The day involved finding out just where did she come from, the true family tree, more than just the people in your family you see everyday. I was excited about the project because it allowed Lanie to learn some history and be able to share it with her class. She called Papa (Bill) and got some information since he is a geneologist he has the information on paper. It was exciting to see how excited Lanie was to learn the information and just as happy was Papa that he had someone to share with! Lanie learned that she actually had ancestors on the Mayflower she wouldn't have known that had it not been for sharing this experience with her grandpa. Another part of the project was to make and bring in a family recipe. This is where another grandparent comes into play. Grandma Burwell, who is always willing to bake with her grandgirls came up with the idea of Great Grandma Burwell recipe to make apple kuchen. The time spent with Grandma was not only fun but a hidden treasure with Lanie and a memory she won't forget anytime soon. Grandma and Lanie made enough for her to take to school today and that made Lanie smile from ear to ear.
Grandma Sophie and Grandpa Sophie are a treasure to my girls also.They send packages to the girls with so many surprises! Lanie has gotten to the point that when there is a package at the door she automatically thinks it is for her and Kara too of course! They make the time that we have with them special by planning fun activities for the kids do, allowing Lanie to do anyone of the shows she plans and not rushing her through it. They have allowed us to go on vacation with them so that my children can have even more experiences then even we can offer them.Goinf to Disney and going on the cruise ship, snorkeling in the carribean are just a few of the experiences.
Gram is always there with a craft to make with Lanie she loves to learn how to sew or work on ceramics.She helped make a blanket with her Gram that she now sleeps with at night. Gram is always so generous to send gifts for no reason but to brighten my daughters'day. Papa is willing to do "the big" puzzle with Lanie when we go and visit,and on every visit they have to play a game or two of ping pong.Papa is there to read a book Kara or to just let her "jump" and wrestle on the floor. They have shared the treasures that they hold with my children.
Grandpa Burwell is always there when the girls need him whether it be taking Lanie to the pool or the playground or reading a book to Kara. I love to see Grandpa pull one of his grandgirls on his lap and snuggle them or get them to sleep. Grandma Burwell likes to take Lanie to Broadway shows, special nights in a great city hotel, horse drawn carriage rides or just sitting and making old family recipes of christmas cookies that can be shared with future generations!
I am thankful for each and every one of my childrens grandparents they add an additonal piece to the puzzle of what make my children whole. We are truly blessed to have you in our lives even if you are a little grayer than I once remember. I love you and thank you for who you are!